School Nurse: "Yes, Sarah, I have your oldest daughter here in the nurse's office and she's had a fall."
Sarah: "Oh, okay."
Sarah's Head: It's not like the nurse to call me every time one of the kids falls, but she's a fairly new school nurse and maybe she just likes to communicate a lot. What a nice, thorough nurse.
School Nurse: "Well it's actually a pretty bad fall, and she may need stitches."
Sarah's Head: No, you must have heard that wrong, Sarah. Our ears are really not on the ball today. You don't have time to have oldest daughter get stitches today, I have a list in here a mile long. Also it's nearly baby's nap time, and this is going to put a damper on it, let me tell you.
Sarah: "Oh, okay."
School Nurse: "So you may want to come get her right away and take her to the ER."
Sarah's Head: Did she say ER? Okay, so now I know it's just a bad dream. If you pinch yourself really hard enough we'll wake up...Owww. What the heck were you thinking? What the heck was I thinking? Why are you talking to yourself at a time like this?
Sarah: "Okay."
In the background I can hear oldest daughter sobbing at the mention of the word "stitches", but I'm just waking out of a haze and realizing that for yet another moment, it's up to me to somehow fix a situation that I did not cause, and have no control over. After taking a moment to catch my breath, I grab my shoes, the baby, my purse, and a small measure of composure. I drive the few blocks to the school and barrel into the school, nearly knocking down the school secretary who, unaware of oldest daughter's accident, has stepped in front of me to say hello to baby. Muttering an apology as I break free towards the nurses office, I step inside to find a scene of utter despair.
Huddled around my sobbing, slobbering, bleeding daughter are her heroic second grade teacher and the just as heroic nurse. Of course the sobbing and slobbering got a lot worse when I got there, although the bleeding was under control. Hugging her the whole way, while carrying baby under the other arm, we hustled ourselves to the van. I hurried home to call and try to find a pediatrician who could see her right away. The earliest appointment I could find was for several hours later, but she seemed fine, and I would much rather wait at home for a definitive appointment than wait in the ER for one that would happen at some point.
When I finally got her calmed down enough for coherent conversation, I realized that the thing my daughter was most upset about was looking like Frankenstein for Halloween.
Actual comment from oldest daughter, "Why dib dis hab to habben to my bobbiful bobum lib?" Which loosely translated means, "Why did this have to happen to my beautiful bottom lip?" Did I mention that oldest daughter has the slightest hint of vanity?
Fast forward to the Dr.'s office a few hours later...
The Dr. said that because the edges of the gash were matched and even, he saw no benefit from sewing oldest daughter up, although he did give her an antibiotic and schedule a follow up. She was thrilled.
We'll see how it goes, but so far we've avoided stitches, the ER, and looking like Frankenstein.
Instead we're going for the Rocky look.

I hear it's more profitable anyway.