Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween: Themed Costumes

For several years in a row we were able to convince the kids to wear costumes surrounding a theme. One year all of the kids were characters from Peter Pan (Peter, Captain Hook, Tinkerbell, and the crocodile), another year we all dressed as characters from the Wizard of Oz.

It was so cute. And more importantly, all night I got to hear comments about what a smart and creative mother I was to come up with and convince my kids to buy into the theme for their costumes.

This year I couldn't convince any of the kids to adhere to a theme. I suggested, cajoled, bribed, and begged, and I eventually gave up. Instead we ended up with ...




1 very serious ninja


1 Native American Princess (The costume tag said Native American, not Indian, so that's what she told everyone she was.)



1 Silly Superman



1 Bashful Lion



and 1 cute rag doll.




There is no remote wilderness in the entire world where these costumes would seem to go together. Believe me, I know. All night long I kept trying to think of some explanation that seemed plausible. Here's the best of what I came up with...
  • 1. Superman and his new sidekick NinjaMan had to rescue an Indian Princess and her rag doll from the clutches of a cowardly lion.
  • 2. A beautiful Indian Princess goes to sleep and dreams of a mysterious land where a rag doll and her pet lion escape the clutches of two random weirdos with capes and tridents.
  • 3. Superman has adverse affects from the Kryptonite and hallucinates the other four characters.
  • 4. For some strange reason I let my children choose their own costumes this year instead of hand-picking for them, and they all chose remotely different themes just to tick me off and make me look uncreative and not as smart as in years past.
Maybe next year...
Points Positive:
+Making it through Halloween relatively unscathed.
+Allowing my children to choose their own costumes.
Points Negative:
-Eating all of the Almond Joys out of the kids' bags.
Overall Points:
+1
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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Busted Lip and Bruised Vanity

School Nurse: "Yes, Sarah, I have your oldest daughter here in the nurse's office and she's had a fall."


Sarah: "Oh, okay."

Sarah's Head: It's not like the nurse to call me every time one of the kids falls, but she's a fairly new school nurse and maybe she just likes to communicate a lot. What a nice, thorough nurse.


School Nurse: "Well it's actually a pretty bad fall, and she may need stitches."

Sarah's Head: No, you must have heard that wrong, Sarah. Our ears are really not on the ball today. You don't have time to have oldest daughter get stitches today, I have a list in here a mile long. Also it's nearly baby's nap time, and this is going to put a damper on it, let me tell you.


Sarah: "Oh, okay."


School Nurse: "So you may want to come get her right away and take her to the ER."

Sarah's Head: Did she say ER? Okay, so now I know it's just a bad dream. If you pinch yourself really hard enough we'll wake up...Owww. What the heck were you thinking? What the heck was I thinking? Why are you talking to yourself at a time like this?


Sarah: "Okay."


In the background I can hear oldest daughter sobbing at the mention of the word "stitches", but I'm just waking out of a haze and realizing that for yet another moment, it's up to me to somehow fix a situation that I did not cause, and have no control over. After taking a moment to catch my breath, I grab my shoes, the baby, my purse, and a small measure of composure. I drive the few blocks to the school and barrel into the school, nearly knocking down the school secretary who, unaware of oldest daughter's accident, has stepped in front of me to say hello to baby. Muttering an apology as I break free towards the nurses office, I step inside to find a scene of utter despair.


Huddled around my sobbing, slobbering, bleeding daughter are her heroic second grade teacher and the just as heroic nurse. Of course the sobbing and slobbering got a lot worse when I got there, although the bleeding was under control. Hugging her the whole way, while carrying baby under the other arm, we hustled ourselves to the van. I hurried home to call and try to find a pediatrician who could see her right away. The earliest appointment I could find was for several hours later, but she seemed fine, and I would much rather wait at home for a definitive appointment than wait in the ER for one that would happen at some point.


When I finally got her calmed down enough for coherent conversation, I realized that the thing my daughter was most upset about was looking like Frankenstein for Halloween.

Actual comment from oldest daughter, "Why dib dis hab to habben to my bobbiful bobum lib?" Which loosely translated means, "Why did this have to happen to my beautiful bottom lip?" Did I mention that oldest daughter has the slightest hint of vanity?


Fast forward to the Dr.'s office a few hours later...

The Dr. said that because the edges of the gash were matched and even, he saw no benefit from sewing oldest daughter up, although he did give her an antibiotic and schedule a follow up. She was thrilled.


We'll see how it goes, but so far we've avoided stitches, the ER, and looking like Frankenstein.



Instead we're going for the Rocky look.
I hear it's more profitable anyway.

Stitches? We'll Know In A Few Hours



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Monday, October 29, 2007

An Interesting Graph of My Daily Activities



As you can see, unexpected emergencies take up most of my day with cleaning as a close second.

I'm wondering if it wouldn't be helpful to require parents to be certified Emergency Responders and Maids before they could have kids. Maybe some training would help. We could shadow current parents (AKA Emergency Responders/Maids) and learn how they do their jobs.

I'm wondering if the population wouldn't decline rather quickly.

Points Positive:

+ Being able to laugh at myself.

Points Negative:

none

Overall Points:

+1

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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Sunday Peace and Quiet

Well we managed to make it to Sunday. A day of rest. Except at my house it's also a day of chaos.

"Where are my church pants?"

"I only have one sock."

"We're going to be late."

"Who turned off my iron>"

"I want breakfast."

"Eat a piece of bread."

Yet miraculously we were at church on time (even early) for once in the last six months. After church was calm and peaceful and people actually prepared their clothes, backpacks, lunches, etc for the busy week ahead. Bliss? Well it's about as close as my family has actually ever come.

Points Positive:
+1 Making it to church on time.
+1 Peace residing in my house (at least temporarily.)

Points Negative:
-1 A giant pile of clothes waiting to be folded and taking up our entire couch.
-1 Another giant pile of clothes waiting to be washed and taking up the entire laundry room.

Overall Points:
0 points

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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Halloween Pumpkins

Every year my husband tries to win at a pumpkin carving contest. Sometimes it has been a family pumpkin carving contest. Sometimes it's been a contest at our church. Most of the time it's just a contest with his memory of his own pumpkins from previous years. This year he decided to do this.

It's a family portrait, sort of. Carved around the pumpkin are the faces of our 5 children, me, and of course the artist himself. It's actually quite amazing, and I have to admit that I'm impressed.


More importantly, so were the judges at our church carnival...



Points Positive:
+Letting my husband take all the time he needed to carve his masterpiece.
+Creating 79 treat bags to hand out at our "trunk or treat". (One bag broke, and I was forced to eat the contents.)
+Making brownie muffins for the cake walk.


Points Negative:
-Burning the brownie muffins. (Maybe I shouldn't have tried to cook and make treat bags at the same time. Darn that multitasking.)
-Getting to the carnival 30 minutes late.


Overall Points:
+1
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Friday, October 26, 2007

Sarah's Travels To Diverse Places

I live in the Dallas Metroplex. It's a rather large area, especially to someone who grew up in a town with a population of 25,000 people. When I went to college, I moved to a town that had a population of 30,000 when the semester was in session, and 9,000 when it wasn't.

Then we moved to Arlington, TX and I saw a population sign that said, 346,000. I nearly fainted. I didn't know you could cram that many people into a city. It's been an adjustment over the last several years to live in a sprawling metropolis, but for someone as directionally challenged as I am, driving is the worst.

Still I wasn't concerned when my husband informed me that I needed to pick him up from the elementary school where he teaches in Northwest Dallas and drive him to another elementary school in Far West Dallas for a meeting. I've lived here for seven years, right? I mean it's Dallas, right?

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

It took forever, and unfortunately every road we drove on was under construction. Also Inwood Rd, which turns into Hampton Rd. has about a million schools and school zones on it. Did I mention that I was driving right at dismissal time?

Somehow on my way back home I took the wrong highway, and that's when the fun really began. In the course of 2 hours I took the following route.




Okay, so maybe I didn't really go to the Equator, Timbuktu, or the Arctic Circle, but it felt like it. It was even more humiliating to have oldest daughter telling me over and over again, "I don't think this is right, Mommy." Then we had to add to that Baby repeating over and over again, "No, Mamma. No, Mamma."

And I know that all of you out there in the world who have a fabulous sense of direction are laughing your heads off at the stupidity of my trip...but I have other qualities that are wonderfully endearing and make up for my inability to find my way home in a timely manner. I'll post extensively about them...as soon as I remember what they are.

Points Positive:

+Making it home at all.
+Getting a jumbo helium tank to the school in time for the PTA carnival.

Points Negative:

-Using a quarter tank of gas on my joy ride. (Hey, at least gas is cheap.)

Overall Points:

+1

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Thursday Over-Thinking: An Obligation vs. A Responsibility

I was trying to explain this concept to oldest son, that there is a difference between obligation and responsibility. Trying to put it into words, though? Well lets just say, I came up short. Then I tried explaining connotation vs. denotation. That didn't go so well either. Finally, I figured it out. Responsibility is when you're supposed to wash the dishes and you do it. Obligation is when you're supposed to wash the dishes, and you complain about it, delay it, complain some more and grudgingly do it. Unfortunately I seem to have quite a few more obligations than responsibilities.

Points Positive:
+Writing a blog post when I am nearly falling asleep at the computer.
+Attempting to explain difficult concepts to oldest son rather than saying, "You'll understand when you're older."

Points Negative:
-Having 24 unlistened-to phone message on my voicemail.

Overall Points:
+1

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

10 Things I Wish I Knew How To Do...And Probably Never Will

10. Swim...Maybe water wouldn't be so frightening then.

9. Write legibly...Then I could stop explaining why I never write handwritten notes.

8. Cook yeast breads. My mom can do it, but mine always turn out terribly. The only bread I can cook is Amish Friendship Bread.

7. Drive a standard. Most cars are automatics, I know, but it would be nice to know just in case I have to jump into a random car to chase down a criminal or something similar.

6. Draw or paint. I love it when I walk into people's homes and they have a piece of artwork that they actually did, as opposed to my house where I have picture frames with stock photos still in them.

5. Sew...My attempts at sewing are limited to doll quilts and doll clothes, mostly because my daughter is very forgiving of the mistakes. My mom, by the way, a fabulous seamstress, and yes she did try to teach me, I'm just inept.

4.Have the courage to send off books to publishers. I've written several, but they just remain hidden, because that way nobody can tell me they stink. (Although it also makes it difficult for anyone but me to read them.)

3. Change the oil in my van. I know I can pay someone, but it feels like a cool thing to know. I could change my oil at the drop of a hat whenever I wanted to. I could also brag about it in our family Christmas letter. "Just yesterday, Sarah changed the oil in the van in under 10 minutes. Boy are we lucky to have her."

2. Make candy. My grandmother had the most elaborate spreads of candy at Christmas, and I miss that so much. Most of my candy turns out to be too grainy, too runny, or just too much. I have perfected a recipe for Almond Roca that is too die for. I might share it if you're interested.

1. Let go of the things I can't change.

Bonus #1. Fall asleep at night without having to wrestle a billion thoughts out of my head.

Bonus #2. Praise myself for a job well done, and give myself a pep talk for a job that could be better.

Points Positive:
+1 Recognizing a few of my strengths (Like the Almond Roca, I can taste it right now.)
+1 Recognizing things I still want to learn.
+1 Wanting to be better.

Points Negative:
-1 Putting off an eye doctor appointment until my last pair of contacts has nearly disintegrated.

Overall Points:
+2
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A Quote About Perfection

"Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." ~Salvador Dali

Points Positive:
+Progress with organizing
+Progress with the school carnival
+I have a gorgeous new nephew. (Okay so I did nothing to bring this about, but still it's a plus.)
+Finding enough sunglasses for all the kids to "Shade Out Drugs" in celebration of Red Ribbon Week.

Points Negative:
-Having middle son wear my own sunglasses when I couldn't find his. (Hey, he was happy.)
-Forgetting to get the screw in the tire fixed. (see post)
-Forgetting to get the windshield wipers fixed. (same post)
-Forgetting to fill up the gas tank. (still the same post)

Overall Points:
0 points (Wow, zero hurts a lot worse than a negative number for some reason.)
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Monday, October 22, 2007

My Van Is Out To Get Me!

It started this morning. As rain was pouring down and I was trying to get my kids to school on time, I had the windshield wipers going at top speed. Suddenly the right windshield wiper began to shred away from the blade and flap around with each pass. I got the kids to school and began the drive home, when the left windshield wiper popped up, flopped back down, and broke apart revealing metal strips where the rubber blade should be.




Needless to say, they weren't diverting much water.

It got better when I went to pick the kids up from school. After getting in the carpool lane to drive through and pick up the first grader, I realized that my gas tank was showing this.




You can't see it in the photo, but the little gas light had flashed on letting me know that I had only fumes left to try to drive around the entire school picking up 4 kids in three separate stops. Let me help you to understand that there is no way out of our school's pick-up lane. It's a very narrow lane, and I was horribly afraid that I would end up being the one parent a year who causes a massive traffic jam. We made it though and headed to the nearest (expensive) gas station.

On our way to the gas station, the wheel kept pulling to the right and the tires felt weird driving on the road. I thought maybe a tire was low so I got out to check and low and behold...





There's a screw in one of my nearly new tires.

So tomorrow I have to get wiper blades replaced, a tire replaced, and go to my normal gas station to finish filling up the van. I tell you, this vehicle has suddenly decided it's high maintenance. Meanwhile baby is still sick and her cough is not sounding so nice. I can't even sleep at night because I'm waiting to hear her cough. It's going to be a long night, and a long day tomorrow.

Points Positive:
+Sorting through hundreds of papers and beginning to file them in their proper places.
+Getting the kids to school on time.

Points Negative:
-Neglecting extended family members due to a busy schedule.
-Jack in the Box for dinner for the kids. (Okay, it probably did taste good, but still...)
-Going to bed after midnight when tomorrow is my "early" morning.

Overall Points:
-1
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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Oldest Daughter's Baptism, Loss of a Dear Friend

A moment for joy and a moment for grief.

A dear and longtime friend of my husband's family passed away early this morning. A woman whom I would love to be like. It was a tragic accident and very sudden, and it just hurts so much. My mother-in-law had been friends with her for over 32 years. They were peas in a pod as far as their sense of humor. They both would have me rolling on the floor and even more so when they were together.

I feel this deep sense of loss for all the things this dear woman was that I'm still trying to learn to be. She was an amazing homemaker, incredibly crafty, and one of the most charitable women I've ever known. She often did thing behind the scenes so that others would not know who their benefactor was. She never sought glory for herself, only joy for others.

She was one of those rare people who can be perfectly good with only a slight hint of irreverence. She had just enough spunk to endear nearly everyone to her, while not so much that her charitable countenance was ever marred.

Two things about her that I always loved...

1. She always watched cooking shows and took notes so that she could replicate or modify new and interesting recipes for her family.

2. No matter what the holiday, season, or celebration, she could create amazing decorations and crafts just out of what was lying around.

More than anything, she was an amazing mother. A mother to 10 children, nine of whom were adopted and rescued from horrible conditions to be given places of prominence in a family presided over by a father and a mother who loved them.

Thank you, Diana, for an amazing example of love, giving, and mothering. It was too short to teach me all I needed to know, but I'll treasure it always.

---

Oldest daughter's baptism was slightly somber as so many of us were mourning the passing of our dear friend, but we bravely pressed forward and were excited as a little girl made a momentous decision to be baptized.

I worried up until the last minute that she wouldn't go through with it. You see, oldest daughter does not allow her face to get wet...at all. She holds a towel over her face when she showers, she stays in the shallow end when she swims, and she never plays with water. This same little girl who cries when someone accidentally splashes her at the pool, walked down into a baptismal font and allowed herself to be dunked fully under the water.

When she walked back up the steps to me, she smiled and said, "I survived."

I was so proud of her.

---

As I contemplated the two very different important events being observed by our family this weekend, I was touched to see that they both centered and revolved around family.

In one instance, a family gathered around their beloved wife and mother to say goodbye, at least for the time being. They held each other. They cried and laughed, remembering their mother's humor and love, and mourning the loss of it. That family unit was in turn surrounded by extended family, friends, and acquaintances, strengthening them, celebrating a life lived well with them.

In the other, a family gathered around a beloved child. A future wife and mother to say, "Welcome." They welcomed her to the first steps along a path that their dear friend had walked herself. A path of selflessness, a path of devotion, a path of love. We laughed and cried, remembering the baby she once was and anticipating the woman she is becoming. Our family unit was in turn surrounded by extended family, friends, and acquaintances, strengthening us and our daughter's resolve to live a very purposeful life, a life lived well.

And though she might not have been seen by anyone in the room, I know that our friend was there too. Celebrating our joy with us, proud of the choices of a little girl, and anticipating a time when we will all be together again.

Points Positive:
+Loving, caring for, and appreciating my family

Points Negative:
(none)

Overall Points:
+1 (the most important one of all)

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Saturday, October 20, 2007

Catching Up on the Weekend

I'm beginning to hate weekends. It seems like everything we can't cram into a week we throw at our weekend. Where's the weekend to recover from the weekend? And it's not even over. I still have another day to go... I'm not sure I'm going to make it.

We should just add some days to the weekend. At least one more day? All in favor?

It appears unanimous.

Points Positive:

+Making it through a Saturday without locking myself in my room in protest of the unfair working conditions.
+Reading to each of my children individually instead of picking one book and making them all gather around.

Points Negative:
-Missing my daughter's soccer game.
-Forgetting about my son's book order at school.
-So much dirty laundry in the laundry room that the door won't fully shut.
-Fast food for three meals in a row.

Overall Points:
-2
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Friday, October 19, 2007

Helping Out Hubby, Afternoon Movie, Chinese Food, Uno Spin

When I received a frantic email from my husband this afternoon, my first reaction was to sigh...loudly. He'd forgotten a very important form that had to be filed today, or his students would miss out on free folklorico dancing lessons. There was no way for him to drive 30 minutes to our home and 30 minutes back to school and still get it turned in on time. (Not to mention that elementary students don't do really well when you leave them alone in a classroom. It's frowned upon.)
So at that moment, as I'd just laid down baby for a nap, I was faced with a decision. I could...

A. Let my husband reap the benefits of his own forgetfullness while I kicked back with some well deserved "me time."

B. Grumble and complain that I have to be removed from my comfortable home, wake a sleeping baby, and ruin my whole afternoon, but ultimately help him with the understanding that he owes me, big time!

C. Grab the baby and hope that she stays asleep in the care for the drive there. Listen to the radio as I drive his precious paper to him, all the while thinking about what a nice wife I am, and how lucky he is to have me.

For some odd reason I went against all natural instincts and picked C. As a result, baby was cranky and tired for the rest of the afternoon, I was nearly late to pick the other kids up from school, and 160 fourth and fifth grade students will now get to learn folklorico dance. I felt like a hero, and although the only person patting me on the back was me, it was nice.

I was in such a good mood that I let the kids watch a movie afterschool and allowed my husband to take our daughter out for Chinese Food (a treat she earned a long time ago, but has never been allowed to collect on). All in all, I think I'm pretty neat.

Points Positive:
+Rescuing my husband and the future of folkloric dancing (at least for certain students at one school).
+Letting the kids enjoy an afterschool movie instead of cleaning their rooms.
+Letting hubby and daughter enjoy a Chinese Buffet together.

Points Negative:
-Cheating at Uno Spin. (Don't worry I didn't come close to winning.)

Overall Points:
+2
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5 Reasons I'm Happy and Also a Little Nuts.



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10 Things Most People Don’t Know About Me and Now You Do…

10. I used to dream that Luke Skywalker would come and take me back with him to a galaxy far far away.

9. Up until a couple of months ago, I thought that the song title for “Our Lips Are Sealed” by the Go Gos was really “Arlis, I see you” and wondered extensively why someone would want to write a song about anyone named Arlis. This didn't stop me from singing the song all the time over the last couple of decades.

8. I hate laundry. (Okay so anyone who’s ever been to my home probably knows this, but like you’re ever going to come by.)

7. When I was in the eighth grade, I got kicked out of art for lack of talent. I like to tell everyone I’m into abstract art, but that’s just code for “Can’t write or draw anything intelligible to save my life.”

6. Being a mom was never a top priority until I had kids. (See Plan B.)

5. I was band queen in high school. That’s right, out of dozens of fellow band nerds, I was chosen to wear the crown. (Eat your heart out Ms. America.)

4. I like to melt chocolate chips in a bowl and mix it with pecans when I get sad, upset, hungry, or bored. It drives my husband crazy.

3. I’m scared every time I speak in public.

2. I have been nearly drowned twice in my life. Once in the North Canadian River, and again at Lake Eufala. (Both in Oklahoma)

1. I’m not a big fan of water.
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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Parent/Teacher Conferences, School Fundraising Nights, Exercise Bikes

One of the many hazards of being married to a teacher, is that they frequently have obligations to their school after the normal school hours. Even though my husband is an elementary music teacher he still finds himself in his room for four hours on parent/teacher conference nights waiting for those two students out of five hundred who will drag their parents into his room to meet their beloved music teacher.

Meanwhile, I'm at home trying to explain to a disgruntled nine-year old boy why exactly Mommy is not going to load up all five children, including one sick Kindergartner and take them to the local pizza place for the school fundraiser night. Who got the short end of this stick, I ask you?

Nothing I could say could get it through my oldest son's head that we would not be going. He begged. He pleaded. He cried. He tried guilt by letting me know that he would be the only child in 4th grade who didn't get to wear a giant piece of foam pizza on their head.

I remained immovable.

He actually laid down on the floor and cried.

I laughed out loud. (I couldn't help myself. It was hilarious.)

He cried louder.

I laughed louder.

He tried to kick the wall, but missed and fell flat on his butt.

I laughed louder but told him that if he didn't shape up, I'd take away his wheels for his Heelys, and suddenly he shaped up.

Once I got the kids settled down after homework time and properly babysat by a Scooby Doo movie, I got to go upstairs and greet a long lost friend...my exercise bike.

I really have to congratulate myself because I exercised and showered tonight. That's right I worked out on an exercise bike for over 30 minutes (and under 32 minutes). Then I jumped right into the shower. Now I know normal people exercise and shower in the morning, but I take what I can get, which is usually nothing. ( So this would be more.) Overall it was a fairly good day.

Points Positive:
+ Exercising and showering.
+ Not giving in to my son's pre-teen temper tantrum.
+ Having the good sense not to try to take 5 small children to an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet where teachers, administrators, and other parents would also be.

Points Negative:
-Denying my son the pleasure and peer recognition that comes from wearing a pizza on your head.
-Using television as a babysitter for the kids.

Overall Score:
+1

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Thursday Over-Thinking: Me Time/Schmee Time

Am I legally allowed to designate time solely for the use of myself? I mean, why does it seem that each moment I allow myself must be "stolen" from the extremely deserving population of people that live in my home. I even steal time from our pets. Honestly, instead of straightening my hair after a shower, I could be playing catch with the dog who now sits staring at me through the glass kitchen door. She knows. She is fully cognizant of the fact that I spent time on me rather than her.

Is there a time-swap theory that I could subscribe to? Maybe I could document all the minutes I spend that aren't for me, divide them by the number of people I've provided service to, and allot that much time to myself for the important things I want to do. Really cool things like...

Showering
Brushing my hair
Brushing my teeth
Weighing myself
Crying/Cursing at the Scale
Shaving
Picking up the house.

I think people need to realize that without participation in the aforementioned activities, I will cease to be a person and turn into a hairy, smelly, large piece of clutter that someone else will have to dust. I think they need to seriously contemplate this. Do any of them want something new to dust? I didn't think so.

Maybe there should be some sort of Mommy Union. We could get together over milk and cookies with the leaders of the other side and calmly explain our situation.

(Moms)"You see, it's a fundamental right to be able to shave your legs when you so choose. No, we're not saying all of our employees want to take advantage of this basic right on a weekly basis, but we'll need the time available there just in case."

(Moms)"Yes, we see your point. You have a lot of needs, and we're the ones for the job, but you have to understand that without adequate time to eat, our productivity falls rapidly, so really you're only hurting yourselves."

(Moms)"You call 10 minutes of mealtime after everyone else is done, the hours of 10pm-2am to clean, and once a week showers a compromise?"

(Moms)"Throw in an allowance for Tic-Tacs and you've got yourself a deal."
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts, Sick Kid, Shiny Sink

I hope my son never finds out, but there are times when I hate the Cub Scout program. I look in envy at the other parents who drop their children off at my house to have some freedom, as I struggle to keep up with the demands of some very rowdy, albeit sweet little boys. And now to top it all off, my daughter wants to join Girl Scouts.

After repeatedly asking, "Are you sure?", I realized that she was serious. When the troop organizer asked me if I'd be interested in being a troop leader, I laughed for a full five minutes. I think I ticked her off. But really, I sometimes find it difficult to shower. If I'm going to set aside time for anything else in my life, I'm going to have to give personal hygenie first dibs. I had to congratulate myself because once I finally stopped laughing, I was able to calmly explain that while I'd be happy to drop my daughter off slightly late/horribly late for each meeting, that was the extent of the committment I could give. I don't think the Girl Scout lady was pleased.

To top it all off, my daughter's new troop leader dropped off the registration forms tonight right after a pack of Cub Scouts had destroyed my home, and I'd realized that my youngest son, who'd been unusually quiet since I'd picked him up from school, was running a temperature and had lost his voice at some point in the evening. Right before she was done explaining all the forms to me, my husband arrived back home with tons of fast food in his arms. Not wanting her to think that we promote junk food, I laughed saying, "It's been one of those nights." Little does she know that the local hamburger joint knows to expect us every Wednesday and might as well have our order waiting to go.

Maybe I'm not really teaching poor eating habits to my kids, though. Maybe I'm really teaching positive coping strategies for a busy life. At least that's what I'll tell myself in the hopes it will let me sleep tonight.

Points Positive:
+Not cancelling Cub Scouts tonight.
+Actually listening to a rambling nine year old talk about fictitious ways to irrigate crops.
+Letting my daughter join Girl Scouts even though there's not a free night from here 'til Christmas in our family's schedule.
+Having a clean sink at bedtime. (Mostly because of the fast food, but hey I'm the one keeping score here, and I say it's a +).

Points Negative:
-Not realizing that my son was sick until he was nearly passed out on the living room couch.
-Letting my daughter join Girl Scouts even thought there's not a free nights from here 'til Christmas in our family's schedule.
-Hating nearly every minute of our den meeting.

Overall Score:
+1
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The Positive/Negative Goal

I'm not a good judge of how I'm actually doing. I beat myself up for lots of things and rarely give myself credit. People say it's a mom thing, but I think I've got it down to an art. In an attempt to try to bring some real world accountability to my life as a mother of 5 (not to mention all the other "stuff" I do with my time) I'm trying to track the mistakes and successes of my days. Mistakes give me negative points, and successes will give me positive points. I'm hoping that I can end up with a positive score at the end of the day, although there are some days that will be really hard. Most of them actually... Maybe I'd be better off trying to end up with a positive score at the end of my motherhood. Surely this gets easier when they are older. Right...?
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About Me: Plan B

I didn’t intend to have very many children at all. The plan was two children and they were supposed to come after I’d completed my doctorate. Instead I sit here writing as a barely college educated individual with 5 children who call me Mommy. Occasionally I’ll look around trying to figure out whom they are talking to, only to realize that it’s me.

I’m the one who solves the problems, kisses the hurts, reads the stories, and fusses over the recent developments in height. It’s been 10 years now since I became a Mom, and even though it’s happened several times since then, a Dr. introducing me to a new little person who I’m supposed to guide through the world, I never fail to marvel at the situation I find myself in.

I blame my husband. His good looks, winning personality, and extremely intelligent discourse distracted me from the plan initially. I fell hook line and sinker for that boy. But then as each child was placed in my arms, something happened. I could see the little pieces of him that I loved reflected back in their smiles. And when I looked closer I could see something even more astonishing. There hidden among the soft curls, long eyelashes, and winsome smiles were tiny particles of me. I have to admit I was very flattered that my children would reflect even the smallest molecules of who I am. And that was when the old plan flew out the window. The new plan was much more simple.

I made a goal to be the best mom in the world. Author, writer, world changer… they’d all have to wait. I had a much more pressing job to do. I dare anyone to say that a Mom who is responsible for explaining life and death to a three year old whose pet frog suddenly stopped moving doesn’t have an important job. You want life changing? Try teaching an eight year old how to make the right choices about what he watches on television no matter that his friends all watch rated R movies and he feels left out. Do you desire adventure? Have a go at retracing your steps over a busy metropolis searching for the special shoes that your son tossed out a window at some point along the way, attempting to find them before a movie starts for which you already bought tickets. These can seem like petty errands, and indeed even to the most convinced mother there are times when we may look back at plan A and wonder. I know I have.

It took a Kindergarten open house for me to get a confirmation of what road I’d decided to take. There in the hall proudly displayed for all to see was my daughter’s picture of what she wanted to be when she grew up. “See Mommy, I want to grow up to be a Mommy just like you.” I have to admit that there were tears from me. Maybe I’d done something right after all.

I don't think many people who knew me when I was on the Plan A path would recognize me now. Sometimes I don't recognize myself. But it's too late to turn back now. I'm hooked. I'm addicted to this life. Even with the chaos. Even with the sleepless nights and lack of personal hygeine. This is where I'm at and I wouldn't change it. I defy anyone to try to take it away from me. I may not deserve it, but I have it. It's mine.
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